Mystery Pastry Shop

TODAY MY PARENTS came home bearing gifts from the Farmer's Market (every Saturday morning it's set up at the BART station parking lot, and there's fresh food/loads of random stuff for sale, and live music). My mom produced a white bag with heavenly aromas radiating from within.

I opened it. I inhaled. Violin music soared and harps swirled with flutes in a flourish. I instantly got high and wandered around the kitchen in a state of dazed euphoria before collapsing. Then I had a out of body experience.

Okay, I exaggerated. I looked inside, and....


LO' AND BEHOLD!!!!!!!

Raspberry Bar. I'm quite sure Jesus eats these for dessert. It's got this little shortbread crust on the bottom, a layer of raspberry filling, and a coating of oats, almonds, and more crust on the top. It cost $1.25, but it was about the size of a bathroom shower tile, and it was dense and delicious. Worth it? definitely.

Unfortunately, I have no idea where this shop is. At the Farmer's Market, my dad said the booth read "Specialty Pastries", and their phone number was in the Dublin area, but that's all I know. I NEED TO FIND THIS PASTRY SHOP AND ROB IT!!!

Ode to the Chicken Bake!

COSTCO IS HEAVEN for 3 types of people:

1) Big families, like the Duggars- While a package of Kirkland Signature toilet paper may be enough for the average human for a year, it is the ideal size for families with many members. Buying from Costco means making fewer shopping trips and saving more money.

2) People who like to get everything done in one place- Costco has its own gas stations. My mom bought a massage chair there. I think it's the only store where you can buy a Slip 'n' Slide, salmon, a chandelier, DVDs, mouthwash, a laptop, and a bike all in one place. If I ever get locked in a store overnight, I pray it be Costco.

3) Cheap/poor people with appetites- Two parts to this: 1. The frozen food section is stocked to the brim with all sorts of different ethnic, gourmet foods (well, as ethnic and gourmet as frozen food can get), and for the most part, they're delicious. 2. THE FREE FOOD SAMPLES. 'Nuff said. You could have a whole meal right there, by making rounds and going in for thirds and fourths.

Being of the third category, I present to you one of my favorite Costco food items:


THE CHICKEN BAKE

I know the name isn't too clever (meat item+ cooking action), but the star of the show in the frozen food section (and in the "Costco Restaurant") is the Chicken Bake.

What is it? God's gift to Mankind.

The doughy, chickeny, cheesy, bacony, oniony flavors work together like magic, creating a sinfully delicious warm sandwich wrap thing. It's one of those warm, satisfying foods that make you want to take a nap after you eat them.

It only costs $2.75.
SCORE!

Welcome, eaters.

IF I WERE REALLY RICH, I would fly out to New York's Serendipity restaurant, down their "Grand Opulence" sundae and pay the $1000 tab along with a generous tip despite the nasty wait. If I were just rich, I would head down to the Beverly Wilshire hotel and be served "Eggs and Eggs", a fancy little omelette, for just $100. If I were kind of rich, I could go out to a nice restaurant every few days and dine on some filet mignon with the works for $30.

Unfortunately, I'm a hungry teenager with (ahem) "limited funds".
So I started this blog for other poor-ass foodies like myself. I'm on a mission to find serious, good food for people who don't want to have to empty their pockets to fill up their stomachs. No, this doesn't mean I'll be writing raps that advertise Taco Bell's new 89 cent burritos (even though Taco Bell is pretty darn tasty); I'm simply trying to find some quality places to visit and some quality food to try, but for less moolah.

Stick around.